Regular readers will know that this week of my half marathon training was one filled with the anniversaries of many unhappy memories – therefore I managed to sleep a lot! My husband rang me on the Monday (which was the anniversary of my Mom dying) and asked me if I wanted to go for lunch near his work. This was nice as it not only meant I wasn’t just feeling sad on my own but I also realise I have not been spending as much time with my husband as I spend more and more time training.
It is 18 years today since I made the decision to turn off my mom's life support machine and slowly slip away to a place where she would no longer suffer. At only 38 years old I don't feel old enough not to have my mother – never mind for the time it takes a baby to grow into an adult. Things I try and focus on to remain positive sometimes just make things a whole lot harder. Like going ice skating with my brother's girlfriend and their 2 year old daughter – they are both so very wonderful and it hurts that they never got the warmth of love from my mom – or that she got to meet them. So many moments pass that she should be there to celebrate. The hardest of which relates to this yummy picture – because this represents my wonderful husband – who called me from work and asked if I wanted to go to lunch. I messed up big time with guys when she was alive and I just wish she could see how lucky I am.
On the Tuesday I again had to miss running club due to family commitments. I thought I would slip in a quick 5k run after dropping the boys off at school and on my return ended up doing the Charlotte Crosby’s Belly Blitz DVD. I dropped using the weights and actually completed the whole DVD! Needless to say I then spent a lot of time sleeping to make up for it. Not sure if I did it wrong but I still couldn’t feel my stomach but omg my arms and legs ached!
Late to the party I know but I finally have a snowdrops picture! . Was out for a short run (just over 5k) and got a call from someone arranging to sort my front door. It did mean that I took a pause and there they were! . Not sure if I'm just tired or that yesterday I kept myself busy but today I feel emotionally drained.
Thursday despite Storm Doris I managed to run 9 miles (stopping only to put my jacket in my bag, drink my water and change the podcast) – and that was in 1 hr 34 minutes and 58 seconds. I think this has a lot to do with the lovely Sarah (Mum of three World) telling me that I could do it. At first I wanted to give up but once I got beyond that first bit I just told myself that I had done the hard part and may as well keep going. I also managed over 30k steps that day too.
Friday I had lunch with a friend – and opted to walk there and back. Saturday I got a new Personal Best at Park Run (28 minutes and 50 seconds) – I think it helped that I didn’t walk the hills. I even found the energy to overtake someone as I sprinted to the end. I then went to a lovely lunch over at The Gloucester Studio.
Finally Sunday I joined Nickie (from I am Typecast)’s FitBitches – an online supportive fitness community – you can find us on social media under #FitbitchesMOVEment. I also ordered myself a bike online because I couldn’t fit mine and my son’s in the boot at once. I think I have given up on these lots of unrealistic expectations of myself – doing yoga, eating better etc. Instead I am focusing on taking each day as it comes but regularly doing exercise and running. I do feel I have slipped on the water intake though.
I am running for the Roses Theatre who help the community including those who have suffered from Domestic Violence. You can sponsor me here please. Many thanks for your support.