Longer School Hours Shorter Holidays What a Relief

Longer school hours and shorter school holidays well about time too I say Michael Gove! It has been apparent for a while now that I am not alone in needing my children to be at school a lot more than they already are. I mean they are really at home far too much aren’t they. Yes my own parental input is obviously not enough as I really am not making them thrive at all. Obviously now, being at school until they pass out with exhaustion, means that mistakes cannot be made with parents not doing it right- like me. I am so pleased to see that Michael Gove is making schools willing to take away this obvious burden of parenthood from parents like me; as I find it utterly exhausting (shame they don’t start earlier and do nights too, but I’m sure that is in the pipeline, pleads with Michael Gove). Plus it will see an end to siblings bickering.

I mean they tried the alternative didn’t they Mr Gove, but we wouldn’t listen. Insistent that we knew what was best when feeding our children, for example. They’ve introduced free school meals for infant school pupils now, right before they ban packed lunches (I guess) – as obviously our poor parenting skills do not how to provide nutritiously balanced meals for our own children. Then of course there’s the fact that we dare take them on holidays (when it’s cheaper), only holidays with the school (and no parental input) are good enough for our children. I mean just look at this Center Parcs holiday review – why would I even want to take my children there?

I for one am really happy that schools are going to take over doing all the things I try to do, and that I’m told I am meant to do, as a parent – homework, balanced diets, enough exercise, craft, learning through play and extra-curricular activities – I just can’t keep mine awake enough, or find enough hours in the day.Thank you Michael Gove for taking care of it all.

As for the resources they will be amazing, giving all children the same opportunities – I’m looking forward to my children being able to do activities which were never before in our budgets dreams. Not to mention the fact I will not have to look after sick children (I will be busy at work) besides children want to be with the primary caregiver when they are unwell, that won’t be me anymore as school will obviously now cater for that. This will be great for getting a job as employers will not have to worry about me taking time off as my child is sick.

Plus now I will be able to concentrate on things I was able to have before children – because obviously everyone regrets actually having children right?  There will be better discipline too, I personally cannot stand to see a child crying or upset, so it is a good job the schools will test and push them enough, as I just do not have it in me to let them throw up making them eat every green bean on their plate. Talking of pushing then there’s testing, I am glad they are going to be able to identify and support children at all levels so early on.

Plus I am glad that the schools will have so many more opportunities to see what parents of special needs children are dealing with, and that there is suddenly a lot of extra funding to support them in these extra hours. They will definitely have a lot more opportunities to witness things and tick those crucial boxes for more funding. Plus they are not going to exclude children they cannot cope with any more – as obviously they will all be fully trained up. I mean with less parental input (see Rubbish Parenting) there will undoubtedly be a lot few cases of special needs too! Thank you Michael Gove I have no idea where you found all the extra funding and resources from, you are a legend!

Plus the teachers are going to be the very top quality aren’t they. I mean they obviously need to be doing a better job than us parents – that’s the point isn’t it. And they will certainly be dedicated – I mean I know of teachers who do not get to go home until 8/9pm, add on the extra 3 hours schooling and planning time – they will have to function on a few hours sleep a night. They aren’t going to be striking because of poor pay/treatment/working hours/too much red tape. Actually if I was not one of those parents who just couldn’t cut it (we visit those golden arches far too much) I quite fancy becoming one myself. As I’m going to miss all those special moments, milestones, achievements, hugs, kiss, being there when my sons’ need me – but guess Christmas will become even more special won’t it. With even tighter controls over photos we will not even have pictures to show for them either!

Disclaimer – Just on the off chance someone has read this post seriously please note that I am completely against longer school hours and shorter holidays. I think I have a right to be a parent and do not think for one second they are going to suddenly be able to find extra funding for things when there’s not enough in the pot as it is (and that’s just for children without special needs). I’m really appreciative of what long hours and how hard teachers work and do not wish them to pushed even more.