Children’s Bereavement Charity Winston’s Wish

Death is never easy and not really something that can truly be explained. We just have to know that it is something that happens to everyone at some point. But when it arrives for a loved one grief takes over and can be a very confusing time. Some many questions – Why them? Why now? Why not someone else? Could it have been prevented? Did it hurt? What happens to them now? Can they still hear? Is there such a thing as heaven? Anger, despair, disappointment, guilt, betrayal.

Now imagine how that must feel for a child, who has not developed the cognitive skills to work through it. Who possibly blames themselves, or feels that it was their fault, or even that is was their fault. Personally I had to deal with death a lot as a child with little or no support. I STILL remember crying hysterically in the back of a car at almost 3 years old being told to be quiet, feeling like I was going to choke as a stifled the sobs. You see death is just something you have to “get over and move on,” I have always been told. I am now 37 and still suffer. My big brother was only 6 year old and it is still not something I can get my head around. I am old enough now to think it was just one of those things; unfortunate timing. But I grew up thinking that my parents wished it was me. They spoke so fondly of him, put him on a pedestal. My sibling jealously then just made me feel even worse – because what kind of evil monster is jealous of a boy who has lost his life?! I think this has then impact on my feelings towards myself and added to my feeling of unlikability.

Children's Bereavement Charity Winston's Wish

My parents, who would normally explain things did not have the words, they were grieving themselves. They did not understand who I felt and I did not talk about it as I did not want to upset them further. Everyone knows that no mother should lose a child – but no child should lose a parent either: every day more than 100 children in the UK are bereaved of a parent. That’s why Cheltenham based charity Winston’s Wish help support children to make sense of death and rebuild their lives. They offer a range of practical support and guidance – including professional therapy (individually, in groups and residential settings), a national helpline, interactive website and publications. You can find out more on their website: WinstonsWish.org.

Children's Bereavement Charity Winston's Wish

Yesterday I went along with my family (unfortunately minus my oldest who had training at work) to help support Winston Wish with their fundraising event which involved trying to break the record for the Ice Bucket Challenge (thank you to Creed Foodservice for sponsoring the event). It was a beautiful day and I believe very successful. We also managed to break the UK record. It was lovely to meet Hayley Tamaddon (Andrea Beckett in Coronation Street and Dancing on Ice Star) – who was very nice and posed for lots of pictures. Also there were Gloucestershire’s own Eddie the Eagle, Gaynor Faye, Ashley Taylor Dawson who also joined in with a Spinathon.

Children's Bereavement Charity Winston's Wish

 

22 thoughts on “Children’s Bereavement Charity Winston’s Wish”

  1. What an amazing charity x I’m sorry sorry for your loss as a child . My husband lost his mum to cancer as a teen . A charity like this would have helped me a great deal x

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  2. What a great cause – I completely agree that children need support and it’s great that you’re using your experience to help others. I’m keeping a close eye on my son at the moment as one of his friends mum’s died this weekend and it seems to have really affected him – he’s not particularly close to this friend and hardly knew the mum other than a quick hello in the playground but he seems to be having difficulty with it x

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  3. What a great charity. The death of a child is horrendous and knowing that there is somewhere for other children to get support is amazing. Looks like you had a great day!

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  4. I am so sorry that you lost your brother – I think as an adult, it can perhaps be easy to underestimate the impact these things have on children. Winstons Wish sounds like a great charity to support – well done on breaking the Ice Bucket record – that certainly is a lot of buckets in the photo!

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  5. What a fab cause to be raising awareness for, it’s great that they had so many people turn up in support. It’s great that they managed to organise the biggest ice bucket challenge in the UK, I’m sure it will really help to raise awareness for something like this. It’s great that there were so many big names there to support the charity as well, I bet it was exciting for the kids to see them all! Thanks for linking up with me on Country Kids.

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  6. I can’t imagine what your family went through. It’s not something any parent or sibling should ever have to experience. It’s brilliant that you’re supporting this charity. This work is so important.

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  7. What a brilliant charity and well done you for doing so much. Quite pertinent this post as my husband’s granny died last week (POD’s great granny). She’s only four so not really understanding what it all means but we have the funeral tomorrow. She’s not going to the service or the cremation, just the celebration party 🙂

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