Longer school hours and shorter school holidays well about time too I say Michael Gove! It has been apparent for a while now that I am not alone in needing my children to be at school a lot more than they already are. I mean they are really at home far too much aren’t they. Yes my own parental input is obviously not enough as I really am not making them thrive at all. Obviously now, being at school until they pass out with exhaustion, means that mistakes cannot be made with parents not doing it right- like me. I am so pleased to see that Michael Gove is making schools willing to take away this obvious burden of parenthood from parents like me; as I find it utterly exhausting (shame they don’t start earlier and do nights too, but I’m sure that is in the pipeline, pleads with Michael Gove). Plus it will see an end to siblings bickering.
I mean they tried the alternative didn’t they Mr Gove, but we wouldn’t listen. Insistent that we knew what was best when feeding our children, for example. They’ve introduced free school meals for infant school pupils now, right before they ban packed lunches (I guess) – as obviously our poor parenting skills do not how to provide nutritiously balanced meals for our own children. Then of course there’s the fact that we dare take them on holidays (when it’s cheaper), only holidays with the school (and no parental input) are good enough for our children. I mean just look at this Center Parcs holiday review – why would I even want to take my children there?
I for one am really happy that schools are going to take over doing all the things I try to do, and that I’m told I am meant to do, as a parent – homework, balanced diets, enough exercise, craft, learning through play and extra-curricular activities – I just can’t keep mine awake enough, or find enough hours in the day.Thank you Michael Gove for taking care of it all.
As for the resources they will be amazing, giving all children the same opportunities – I’m looking forward to my children being able to do activities which were never before in our budgets dreams. Not to mention the fact I will not have to look after sick children (I will be busy at work) besides children want to be with the primary caregiver when they are unwell, that won’t be me anymore as school will obviously now cater for that. This will be great for getting a job as employers will not have to worry about me taking time off as my child is sick.
Plus now I will be able to concentrate on things I was able to have before children – because obviously everyone regrets actually having children right? There will be better discipline too, I personally cannot stand to see a child crying or upset, so it is a good job the schools will test and push them enough, as I just do not have it in me to let them throw up making them eat every green bean on their plate. Talking of pushing then there’s testing, I am glad they are going to be able to identify and support children at all levels so early on.
Plus I am glad that the schools will have so many more opportunities to see what parents of special needs children are dealing with, and that there is suddenly a lot of extra funding to support them in these extra hours. They will definitely have a lot more opportunities to witness things and tick those crucial boxes for more funding. Plus they are not going to exclude children they cannot cope with any more – as obviously they will all be fully trained up. I mean with less parental input (see Rubbish Parenting) there will undoubtedly be a lot few cases of special needs too! Thank you Michael Gove I have no idea where you found all the extra funding and resources from, you are a legend!
Plus the teachers are going to be the very top quality aren’t they. I mean they obviously need to be doing a better job than us parents – that’s the point isn’t it. And they will certainly be dedicated – I mean I know of teachers who do not get to go home until 8/9pm, add on the extra 3 hours schooling and planning time – they will have to function on a few hours sleep a night. They aren’t going to be striking because of poor pay/treatment/working hours/too much red tape. Actually if I was not one of those parents who just couldn’t cut it (we visit those golden arches far too much) I quite fancy becoming one myself. As I’m going to miss all those special moments, milestones, achievements, hugs, kiss, being there when my sons’ need me – but guess Christmas will become even more special won’t it. With even tighter controls over photos we will not even have pictures to show for them either!
Disclaimer – Just on the off chance someone has read this post seriously please note that I am completely against longer school hours and shorter holidays. I think I have a right to be a parent and do not think for one second they are going to suddenly be able to find extra funding for things when there’s not enough in the pot as it is (and that’s just for children without special needs). I’m really appreciative of what long hours and how hard teachers work and do not wish them to pushed even more.
Brilliant, and love the disclaimer for daft people! 🙂
Brilliantly done. I think you should put this in a letter and send it to him. I am fairly sure MPs have to reply to every letter that is sent to them (or their office/staff at least).
I am so with you completely bloody ridiculous kids need lots of lovely warm family time not being 1 of 30 all being treated the same
Totally agree, institutionalised parenting is not the way forward. Instead they need to educate and support parents who need extra assistance. Great post x
I read that knowing exactly that it had it’s tongue very firmly planted in it’s cheek. Fab!
Great post…and I love your disclaimer! Good luck with TeamHonk today – I’m doing the Nottingham leg on 25 Feb! Hope it’s not been too windy where you are.
The whole thing is ludicrous! Loving your take on it …. particularly the disclaimer!!
I’m just so glad that I’m not putting my boy in school, seems to be getting more and more ridiculous. I don’t understand why Gove thinks this would be a good idea to have such a long school day.
Loved this post, what they’re doing to schools is plain scary.
I have to say, I was worried that we were going to argue when I saw the title but now I think we are entirely on the same wavelength. Lunacy.
Fabulous post! Completely agree the plans are ridiculous – if you choose to have children you want to look after them, not palm them off to school all of the time. Fingers crossed nothing will come of all of this talk.
I echo Alison’s sentiments – send this one in to your MP! It’s such a ridiculous proposal.
I agree that you should post this off to your MP, when I did that it had very surprising results. Suffice to say so happy my kids are in a French school where amongst other things the eat particularly well.
Great post – I cannot get my head around these ideas and how on earth he thinks they will be beneficial
I am sick of the government intervention in life #fact
Ooh night shift! Now there’s an idea. Could solve the over-crowding problems right there! Let’s introduce hot desking! ;0)
I like your disclaimer 🙂
I bet they are people out there he would take it other way round.
Your explanation at the end made me chortle! I think children are under so much pressure these days….longer school hours will be tough on a lot of them.
Brilliant post you will find me in the home corner drinking wine .
You hit the nail on the head there Joy – just when I was wondering how on earth I was ever going to cope – the answer has been provided by the amazing government once more…
Haha – like that’s ever going to happen.
When will they leave us alone!! xx
Absolutely. I will home ed my children if they increase hours!
Great take on this Joy, what a brilliant post. Awesome job today too, well done – have loved seeing you dressed as Mr Blobby. I bet there were people that pretended you weren’t there LOL 🙂
Great post, love the way it is written. The bit about primary carers really stood out to me – because after all that is what the teachers will become if they are with the kids more than their parents isn’t it
Nicely done. I do however think teens should do longer hours (in our school anyway) – they do less hours than our primary school!!
i almost thought you were serious. kids in uk study for too long!
Fab post! It is ridiculous and is not in the best interests of the child at all. I think you should send this..?
Literally couldn’t agree more – brilliant post!
I honestly don’t think this will ever happen in it current format, and its so not in the best interests of the child. However I can see some of the ideas I’d like to see explored further, especially once children get to secondary school. An extra hour each day to do non curriculum activities, exploring things that perhaps time or even cash poor families might not be able to do. I like that idea :/
I think it’s all a plan to pack off the unruly ones for homeschooling and then what’s left will be moulded into perfect robots who’ll do exactly what they’re told, believe whatever they’re meant to and stand wherever they’re put. By 2030 Britain will be split into 3 groups – the traditional rich, the poor and the rebellion.
hear hear Joy I only had kids so I could palm them off all day and into the evening at school too and never see them or have the opportunity to have some quality time every afternoon after 3.15pm.
very well put!]seriosuly, this pi**ses me off BIG time and I dont see how it will get the go ahead (fingers crossed) x x
Oh Joy the legend is you! I love this post dripping with sarcasm!
First of all, I cannot believe that I didn’t comment on this, I read it at the time and I have no idea how I managed to not comment and share – I am so sorry. I’m just glad I was doing a catch up this evening and noticed!
It’s a fantastic post, I am completely with you, and I love the way you have written it. Just brilliant xx Thanks so much for linking with #ThePrompt xx