The theme I felt throughout this year’s BritmumsLive was definitely learn to like yourself. Blogging is a journey and with the voice it gives it also helps with self-development and confidence. From taking that first journey to London alone, battling the tube, to actually having your blog recognised. That if you are good enough then that will be enough.
I learnt a very valuable lesson when I thought that my jewellery had gone missing. First of all the power of kindness. So many fantastic people were prepared to help me and offer me hugs (special thanks to Rachel and Penny, but thank you to each and every one of you). You see I was absolutely distraught because the jewellery was very special to me. I know it sounds ridiculous but I have this fear that no-one likes me, and I am battling against this belief that has been ingrained since childhood. I have been with my husband for 12 years now and when people decided I’m no longer good enough for them, or that I fear they do not like me I just focus on the fact that HE does, that it is not because I am not likable. That I can be good enough.
But now I have to concentrate on me liking myself. There was a powerful Keynote which was a guest post from MyTwoMums and it was such an inspiration – echoing what I had felt that day. You see I had been to the police, made a fuss with the manager at The Premier Inn and even had Katy Hill giving me her words of wisdom (which included going to listen to the Keynote speech of Ben Brooks-Dutton, who had lost his wife.). I had made a big deal of my missing jewellery. It FELT like a big deal. It was although I was missing some special part of my husband, which I took away with me when we are not together. Like the bit of courage I need to go on, when he cannot be there to guide me.
Here was I absolutely distraught over a bit of jewellery – I cannot comprehend losing my husband. I love him more than life itself and it is he who guides me to realising that I AM GOOD ENOUGH. You see when I found my jewellery I felt VERY foolish (it was in my purse the whole time!) The Premier Inn had been EXTREMELY good to me, Rachel had missed half of BritmumsLive and we had done a lot of walking around London. I rang my husband because honestly I was so mortified that it crossed my mind to lie! Then it happened he reminded me that I am and can be a good person, just like him. The very qualities I admire in my own husband – I could be that person too. That it did not matter what people thought, and what they said, if I looked stupid – that what matters is that I was the person I would admire.
There was also an issue about a cleaner being in my room after I checked out and I would not have been able to live with myself of people thinking she had taken it, when she had not. I felt bad for thinking so negatively that it could have been stolen at all – but I couldn’t continue to let people think that could be a possibility. So I took a deep breath and returned to the Premier Inn and apologised profusely. The manager was actually very kind and said he was just so glad I had found it as he saw how much it had upset me. I text Rachel and let her know too, and again apologised, I tweeted and apologised. I tried to find every kind person who had gone out of their way and apologised.
And you know what – despite my fear of feeling stupid it felt good. Those people had helped me because they liked me (or those who didn’t know me had helped because I had come across as a nice person). They were all just so pleased that I had been reunited. Usually I just put it down to them being nice people, that they would help anyone. But I saw that they wanted to help ME.
It all made me stop to think that the reason I started blogging was to make sure I spent quality time with my family (whilst maintaining a sense of self) – because I love them with my whole heart. I bought Ben Brooks-Dutton book because I could not imagine being without my husband. Also I was almost three years old when my brother was hit by a car and killed – and I want to learn to make the most of my life and focus on being happy.
Thank you to Jade for my Krusty the Clown Lego.
This is NOT a Sponsored post. I stayed at The Premier Inn London City (Old Street) and were very impressed with the staff and management team. I wanted to share this with my readers.
SO glad it turned up, was worried when I heard how upset you were, but couldn’t find you to try and help! Premier Inn were lovely, from re-opening the kitchen so Nikki could have her pudding to singing Happy Birthday to Kara and helping you too they were really lovely staff I thought x
So glad you found your jewellery and that you found lots of support from all the lovely women/people from the event and the staff of the Premier Inn. I can only imagine how upsetting it must have been!
So glad you found your jewellery! It sounds like everyone was a great help to you x
I’m so glad you come to events like this Joy. You are a good, kind person, with a strong voice, and I’m glad to know you x
Great post! I also have this fear that no-one likes me and that I’m not good enough, particularly as my confidence has bombed in the last 20 months so it’s great to hear there is someone who feels the same. I also took away from the conference that we are all good enough, our blogs are good enough whether they reach 1 or 1000 people and that we mustn’t compare ourself to others. x
I wish I could’ve seen you over the weekend- you were one of the people I wanted to meet!
You ARE good enough, Joy, we all are, in our own little ways. We all have our reasons for blogging. Chatting to other bloggers pre BiBs I wished I’d booked for the whole 1.5 days because it all had such a good vibe.
I’m not confident at all but I loved putting faces to blogger names.
I’m so glad your jewellery turned up.
So, so pleased it turned up safe and well. You are worth all the help offered – more confidence please 🙂
I’m really glad your jewellery was safe and sound!
A couple of years ago, I had to call a locksmith out to break into my house and fit a new lock after losing my keys. I’ve never admitted to anyone before today that I actually found the keys in a small zipped pocket in my handbag a few minutes after the locksmith left…
Amazing post. So pleased you got your jewellery back. It’s so hard to lose something that can’t be replaced with emotions to it. It was lovely to meet you again. Glad you had a great weekend hun. It can be overwhelming always wondering if we are good enough, I feel that way often. People pleaser too here so it’s never easy but BritMums was fantastic wasn’t it? Lovely post here.
I’m so pleased you found the jewellery and that the whole experience has given you a new sense of priorities in life. You are so very special to so many people, I hope you now realise this a little more too.
What a moving post. It always makes me sad when I read that you don’t think you’re good enough or that people don’t like you. I’m so glad people were there for you and supported you. x
I am so glad you found your jewellery and thank you for the mention, it makes me so happy to hear my words are an inspiration, was really lovely to see you again 🙂
Oh that sounds so stressful! But your post saddens me because you are such a nice person and it’s such a shame you obviously feel insecure about your own amazing worth. Right from the first week I started blogging you interacted with me and I couldn’t wait to meet you in “real life” where you turned out to be just as nice and funny too. I have so enjoyed the brief times we have spent together and hope your mission to like yourself is somewhat helped by the knowledge that there are a lot of people who like and respect you!
I am really pleased that your jewellery was found. Also that you have been on a journey of discovery. I feel the same as you , think people don’t like me because as a child my mum did nothing but put me down and feel so worthless.
Such a powerful post. I empathise so much.as I struggle to believe that people could like boring old me. I honestly don’t know what would have happened to me had I not found blogging as had lost pretty much all sense of self. I for one have always seen your tweets etc and had positive feelings towards you.
Learn to rely a little more on yourself – this will be good for you and your husband.
Reach out to the community that is there – not only will you get back up but you can support others too which is a real thrill.
So happy to hear you got your jewellery back.
Come again next year and it will be a different experience and here’s to the lovely bloggers you met with their caring attitudes and very wise words.
I am so glad it turned up and I am happy to hear there are so many nice people in the world. Learning to like ourselves is the hardest thing. I found the performance at the end of britmums by the good enough club very powerful.
Sorry to have missed you this year!
I’m so glad you found your jewelry in the end and that you are learning that you are important and liked. I struggle with the same sort of problem – I am convinced no one likes me and they only talk to me because they have to. But I know my boyfriend loves me for who I am despite my paranoia – it sounds as if your husband is incredibly supportive of you and everything you set out to achieve in life.
It’s really nice to know there are so many nice people in the world. Ray xx
It can be hard, in our culture, to force yourself to settle for “good enough.” But when it comes to happiness and satisfaction, “good enough” isn’t just good—it’s perfect.