I have pretty much taken things easy in regards to how much time I have spent online this month. Instead of feeling refreshed at the end of it I feel tired. I feel even more that I have so much to do in terms of tidying my house, spending time with my family and giving more back to myself. I really want to improve our diets and we have done amazingly with cutting out sugary drinks, cutting back on sugar in general and moving away from caffeine. I want more though – I am fed up of cooking the same meals – which I know there are better ones out there for my family. I want them to look forward to their meals like I did when I was at Middle Piccadilly. I want to feel the happiness I did when I was there – when I allowed myself time to relax, think and just be.
I started blogging to record my family journey and to make sure I spent more time with the boys. But it seems as blogging has become more business like I have fallen into the trap and wanting things to look good – instead of showing how things really are. My children have had to get at the right angles for photos and never just make or play anymore. In fact in my “this isn’t for the blog” free month my youngest was confused, “aren’t you going to photo it mom?” and it didn’t matter when the icing I mixed to make sweet trees was more blue than green. In all honesty the boys didn’t care – we were spending time together (oh and eating sticky sweet stuff!).
I do want to improve my photos (I got a Macro lens for Christmas with no clue how to use it), but no longer at the expense of my family. I just sat sorting LEGO with one of my boys and he ended up confiding in me something that had been worrying him for a whole year! How have I even managed not to have spent enough quality time with him for him to feel that telling me wouldn’t be a burden to me?!
So if you see any family posts now they are going to be more real. In actual fact our house is a mess – not just toys but walls chipping away mess. We worked hard to be able to buy a house big enough for us all but to do that we had to buy one that was really neglected. We have improved it so much but there’s only so much time and money. I shouldn’t be ashamed I should be proud – and it is ours, and we will get there. Anyway I am sure this post was of no interest to you but I just wanted to share my enlightenment. Oh and I am reviewing a Yoga Bible that has started off by saying how you would find time to let a friend know you care – so why not do the same for yourself. I think any New Year’s Resolution must start with having time for yourself. Oh and I definitely need that as I have signed up for a Half Marathon!