I am Good Enough

The theme I felt throughout this year’s BritmumsLive was definitely learn to like yourself. Blogging is a journey and with the voice it gives it also helps with self-development and confidence. From taking that first journey to London alone, battling the tube, to actually having your blog recognised. That if you are good enough then that will be enough.

BritmumsLive2014

I learnt a very valuable lesson when I thought that my jewellery had gone missing. First of all the power of kindness. So many fantastic people were prepared to help me and offer me hugs (special thanks to Rachel and Penny, but thank you to each and every one of you). You see I was absolutely distraught because the jewellery was very special to me. I know it sounds ridiculous but I have this fear that no-one likes me, and I am battling against this belief that has been ingrained since childhood. I have been with my husband for 12 years now and when people decided I’m no longer good enough for them, or that I fear they do not like me I just focus on the fact that HE does, that it is not because I am not likable. That I can be good enough.

BritmumsLive2014

Thank you to A2 Milk #RandomActofKindness

But now I have to concentrate on me liking myself. There was a powerful Keynote which was a guest post from MyTwoMums and it was such an inspiration – echoing what I had felt that day. You see I had been to the police, made a fuss with the manager at The Premier Inn and even had Katy Hill giving me her words of wisdom (which included going to listen to the Keynote speech of Ben Brooks-Dutton, who had lost his wife.). I had made a big deal of my missing jewellery. It FELT like a big deal. It was although I was missing some special part of my husband, which I took away with me when we are not together. Like the bit of courage I need to go on, when he cannot be there to guide me.

BritmumsLive2014

Katy Hill was amazingly supportive. This picture shows me wearing the Jewellery #BiBs2014

Here was I absolutely distraught over a bit of jewellery – I cannot comprehend losing my husband. I love him more than life itself and it is he who guides me to realising that I AM GOOD ENOUGH. You see when I found my jewellery I felt VERY foolish (it was in my purse the whole time!) The Premier Inn had been EXTREMELY good to me, Rachel had missed half of BritmumsLive and we had done a lot of walking around London. I rang my husband because honestly I was so mortified that it crossed my mind to lie! Then it happened he reminded me that I am and can be a good person, just like him. The very qualities I admire in my own husband – I could be that person too. That it did not matter what people thought, and what they said, if I looked stupid – that what matters is that I was the person I would admire.

BritmumsLive2014

There was also an issue about a cleaner being in my room after I checked out and I would not have been able to live with myself of people thinking she had taken it, when she had not. I felt bad for thinking so negatively that it could have been stolen at all – but I couldn’t continue to let people think that could be a possibility. So I took a deep breath and returned to the Premier Inn and apologised profusely. The manager was actually very kind and said he was just so glad I had found it as he saw how much it had upset me. I text Rachel and let her know too, and again apologised, I tweeted and apologised. I tried to find every kind person who had gone out of their way and apologised.

And you know what – despite my fear of feeling stupid it felt good. Those people had helped me because they liked me (or those who didn’t know me had helped because I had come across as a nice person). They were all just so pleased that I had been reunited. Usually I just put it down to them being nice people, that they would help anyone. But I saw that they wanted to help ME.

BritmumsLive2014

Open your eyes to see that you are good enough

It all made me stop to think that the reason I started blogging was to make sure I spent quality time with my family (whilst maintaining a sense of self) – because I love them with my whole heart. I bought Ben Brooks-Dutton book because I could not imagine being without my husband. Also I was almost three years old when my brother was hit by a car and killed  – and I want to learn to make the most of my life and focus on being happy.

Thank you to Jade for my Krusty the Clown Lego.

This is NOT a Sponsored post. I stayed at The Premier Inn London City  (Old Street) and were very impressed with the staff and management team. I wanted to share this with my readers.

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